Adoption · Family Life · Infertility · Marriage · Montour Falls · Motherhood · Testimony · Testimony Tuesday

Answering The Call

If you follow my adventures on Facebook, Instagram, or IRL (in real life) then you know that we recently announced that we’ve officially started the adoption process. Technically we made the decision to adopt, and started working towards that decision, a couple of months ago but have kept pretty quiet about it until now. That has been no easy task; trust me! I can’t even begin to express our elation and excitement about this decision and this calling!!

But for now lets rewind a little bit and start back at the beginning.

As many of you know we’ve been struggling with infertility, and it’s been a pretty heartbreaking journey. We’ve invested quite a few hours researching family building options, going through medical testing, and seeking advice from different professionals, including Michelle our wonderful adoption counselor through LDS Family Services, to ascertain which choice was the correct one for our family.  Throughout this entire experience we’ve clung to the belief that Heavenly Father has a plan for us, we just need to figure out what that plan is. Countless hours have been spent in prayer and pleading with God to know what to do, and to feel peace with whatever decision he’d lead us to even if that meant living a child-free life. I’ve really relied on the teachings from Matthew Chapter 7 Verse 7 and Moroni Chapter 10 Verse 5 to aid me during this time:

    1. “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”
    2. “And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of ALL things.” (emphasis added)

I spent a lot of time being angry at God. More time than is probably good, and more than I care to admit. I couldn’t grasp why a loving God would withhold something from me that I desired so much, something that was a righteous desire, something promised to me in my patriarchal blessing; or so I thought! For information on patriarchal blessings click here. Though many episodes of raw, heartfelt prayer my heart was softened and my eyes were open to the truths and plan Heavenly Father had been to leading me to all along, but that I’d been too stubborn and angry to see. I’m sure he had whispered his plan to me countless times, but I let my internal voice and my own selfish desires drown him out. My internal voice full of “I want this”, “I want it now”, and “I want it done exactly in this manner with no deviations from my ideal plan”.

So what did he do? He stopped whispering and he started shouting; shouting so loudly that I couldn’t deny what he was telling me to do. His message came across so loudly and so clearly that there was no room to deny not only what the plan was supposed to be, but also who was captaining it. But, being the stubborn, doubtful human that I am my next thought was “Why? Why me? Why not MY way?” and again he answered me at full volume as to why, and more specifically why me. His answer left me speechless and profoundly humbled. His answer made everything make sense, and while it didn’t remove the pain and heartache of infertility, it did restore my hope and my faith.

See, God didn’t just tell me to adopt because adoption is great (which it is) and because there are children in need (which there are). God told me this had always been his plan for me, and this way the only way he could bring it to pass because He KNOWS me. He “gets” me and my personality. Most importantly he told me why, and that why is what changed everything for me. He told me that he doesn’t just want me to adopt but that he NEEDS me to adopt because he needs me to raise a certain spirit, and that we are the only ones who can do what he needs and provide what that child needs. When God answers you like that, so clearly and so loudly, how can you be anything but awed and humbled? How can you do anything but heed his call?

So that’s exactly what we are doing. We are heeding his call, and have started the adoption process for a domestic infant adoption. There are still so many unknowns and so many things that we’ll be figuring out along the way. Adoption is not an easy nor inexpensive process, but we have the faith that because we have been called of God to do this that he “will make a way in the wilderness” (Isaiah 43:19).

I am filled with awe at the amazing things God has already brought to pass with this adoption, and although I know this path won’t always be easy and will have it’s fair share of tears and waiting, I am hopeful for the incredible future in store for us.

It’s rather difficult to put in to words how much love we already have in our hearts for a baby we haven’t even met yet, a baby that may not even be conceived yet, without soundly overly clichéd but it’s so true. Our hearts are overflowing with love for this child and their birth family, and we are elated at the prospect of growing our family not only though the adoption of a child but through welcoming the child’s birth family into our lives to the level they’re comfortable with. Honestly it’s just fascinating to me how much Heavenly Father has softened my heart and helped me grow in understanding and compassion, and how he is already helping pieces fit together to help us complete our family puzzle in ways we never dreamed possible.

We’ve also been incredibly touched by the outpouring of love, excitement, and support from our family, friends, colleagues, social media contacts, and church congregation. I wholeheartedly believe that it takes a village to raise a child, and our baby to be has the very best village in all of you. We ask for your continued prayers as we walk the path of adoption; prayers for faith, for strength, for hearts to be softened, for doors to be opened and situations to work out smoothly, for peace in His plan and comfort in the waiting, for God’s hand to prevail in all of this, and for the opportunity to grow our family. Your prayers mean the world to us. We believe that we can move mountains through prayer!

If you have any questions about our adoption, or if you know an expectant mother who is interested in placing their child for adoption and is searching for an adoptive family, please don’t hesitate to email us at thisgorgeslife@gmail.com. Also, feel free to share our story and any future fundraisers; the more people we can reach the better, as word of mouth is still the best way to match expectant birth parents with adoptive families!!

Our very first adoption fundraiser is live!! Check out our adoption tshirts here!!

XOXO,

Cait

 

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